Ohio Governor Fred Lenientland, still high from accolades for his bold state-of-the-state address ("Free Buckeye Tix for All Senior Citizens!"), has upped the ante again. His latest initiative? Educating young slum-dwellers in Bangladesh and China. Lenientland explains: "Most Ohio jobs are being shipped off-shore; if our companies are going to compete in this global economy, we need to make sure that their new workers are well-educated." To win cooperation from the state's stubborn teacher unions, Lenientland is promising that seniority "bumping" rights will apply when filling the new jobs overseas--teachers with enough years of experience can transfer from Bexley to the school of their choice in Dacca--and none of the schools will be run by for-profit companies. "Last time I checked, China was a communist country and Bangladesh was vaguely socialistic, so we're open to the idea," says OFT president Millicent Mingy. Education Bust president Kati Hiccups expressed support for fighting the "soft bigotry of caste and class" but fretted that this focus on competitiveness will distract us from more pressing concerns at home. Still less sanguine was the Cleveland Main-Stealer: "We endorsed Lenientland for governor because he seemed smarter than Blackpond. Now we know he's not. Bring back Bob Shaft."
"Lenientland Throws Long," by Troy Smith, Cincinnati Requirer, March 26, 2007
"LENIENTLAND GIVES UP ON OHIO," Bongworld News Services, March 26, 2007