Army War College
March 2005
You've seen the slogan on a thousand bumper stickers: "It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber." Now researchers at the Army War College have put that thesis to the test, in the first of series of studies of mindless slogans. Turns out, it will actually not be such a great day after all. Say the report's authors: "Using sophisticated analysis, we can report that it will actually be a very, very bad day when the Air Force is required to hold bake sales to buy a bomber. At 25 cents a muffin, there simply are not enough ovens in a mess hall to produce the 320 million muffins necessary for a new B-1 bomber." The report also found that it would be a statistically significant bad day when the Army is forced to sell wrapping paper to buy tanks, or when the Navy holds Bingo nights to buy aircraft carriers. Data for the Marines were inconclusive due to small sample sizes. Look for the next report, due this summer, which will examine whether arms really are for hugging. Find the report here.
- Margaret "Tacky" Raymond