Promising that its work will “leverage Uncle Sam to new heights,” the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation announced today that it will play an even larger role in the federal Department of Education. “As Gates gets richer on our own dime, and ED spends China’s nickel, it only makes sense for us to tell them what to do and show them how to do it,” explained foundation CEO Jeff “The Rake” Raikes. In recognition of the foundation’s unprecedented generosity, the doors to the Department headquarters building, previously decked out as little red schoolhouses, will become “Gates to Learning.” But the enhanced foundation role is not without critics. Debbie Meier tweeted that it’s “another damn privatization scheme” and Jonathan Kozol has come out of retirement to protest “rampant plutocracy” on his blog. His Windows operating system immediately suffered a “fatal error” and he hasn’t been seen on-line since.
“A Brave New Education Department,” by Greg Bottomsup, Tweeters Anonymous, March 27, 2010