Withdrawing from NCLB was only the beginning for the Utah legislature, which voted unanimously this week to stand by its principles and formally withdraw from the Union. Utah House Speaker Greg Curtis, now to be known as Supreme Prophet, remarked in a press release that "We just really don't feel it is in our best interest to continue our partnership with the other 49 states. Certainly, we will always remember fondly our association with the U.S. Thanks for the memories, America." Asks Scott McCoy, former state Senator and now Father Superior of Provo, "Who is this Bush to tell us whether or not we can leave our children behind? That's what children are for. That's why we have lots of them." Added ex-policeman Myrtle Huntswoman, "Look at Ken Jennings! 77 straight days on Jeopardy! Who needs federal standards?" When informed by a journalist that Jennings is actually from Edmonds, Washington and was educated overseas in Seoul and Singapore, Supreme Overlord Huntswoman ordered her first execution as the newly formed nation's Head of State. There were no further questions. Education Department chief Margarita Misspelling issued a statement decrying the move as "exactly the kind of slippery slope you get when a state decides that it doesn't want high standards and rigorous accountability in education. Besides, what do you expect from a place called 'the Beehive State?'"
"Utah withdraws from NCLB, union, reality," by Scott McVay, Deseret Schmooze, March 3, 2005.
