The House Committee Formerly Known as Education and Labor issued this week a scathing report that tied 32 KIPP and Achievement First schools to the use of illegal, performance-enhancing drugs. The findings (see here, here, and here) were based on extensive interviews with former school leaders, teachers, and students. Slick Barf, KIPP's CEO, told the report's lead author, Reg Weevil, that he had personally injected KIPP San Francisco By The Bay Academy pupils with ursine growth hormones on multiple occasions. "Don't believe me? Look at the achievement scores, look at the gains," the report quotes Barf as saying. "They speak for themselves." Weevil appeared in front of the Committee yesterday to explain his findings. KIPP co-founder Dave Levitate, who also sat before the Committee yesterday, denied that his schools have ever used illegal substances, and had a testy exchange with Chairman George Millertime. "Are you asking me to believe that these schools made these enormous academic gains without unionized teachers?" Millertime asked Levitate. "Yes, sir. We just have high expectations of our students," Levitate replied, to which Miller snorted and Weevil scoffed.
"KIPP, high-expectations, joy attacked in Weevil report," by D.I.O.D.E. Haynes, Washington Boast, March 30, 2008
"Our Fearless Leader shows that poor kids learn only when pumped full of illegal chemicals," by Flacky McHackerson, NEA Today, March 31, 2008