Many celebs have been starting schools of late and Chuck Norris wasn't going to be left behind. Welcome to the new Norris is Power Program (NIPP) charter school, where every student is taught to beat geometry, biology, English, history, and civics into submission. The school is based on five pillars: Despotism; Might and Dominion; More Despotism; Power to Oppress; and Focus on Supremacy. Knowledge isn't power; power is Chuck Norris. Fight hard; Be mean. NIPP your enemy in the bud. Smite harder. These maxims are posted on every bulletin board for quick reference. If that hasn't convinced you of this school's promising pedagogy, its approach to science surely will. Norris, for example, banned the periodic table since the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise. Gone, too, is the theory of evolution. Students study a list of critters Norris has let live. The charter's authorizer and the state education agency are slightly perplexed at how to respond to these curricular innovations but, knowing the merciless code of discipline enforced by the school, they have, for the most part, remained silent. Some chalk it up to common sense; others point to examples such as the boy suspended by his toenails from a third story window while he read Norris's self-published The Rules of Life. But critics worry that it may prove challenging to replicate the school. Norris didn't exactly start NIPP Academy; he told God to make it for him and He did. Then on the seventh day, Norris rested.
"Chuck Norris opens inner-city charter school," by Steve Awshucks, Education Leak, March 29, 2009