As Americans turn their wondering eyes to the second round of Race to the Top, an unlikely front-runner has emerged: Greece. Struggling with billions of Euros in debt and looking for a lifeline, top Greek government officials have been spotted at 400 Maryland Avenue. Says minister of education, retsina, and Homeric affairs Anna Diamantopoulou, “I don’t see why we wouldn’t qualify. You think Delaware has a focus on teacher quality? We’ve been using the Socratic method for 2400 years.” Representative Gus Bilirakis (FL) is lobbying hard for Greece, as is crack lobbyist Tony Podesta. German Chancellor Angela Merkel thought the chance to avoid an EU bailout merited a 3am phone call to Hillary. Education Department General Counsel Charles Rose explains that Greece is probably eligible: “It turns out that there’s a fair amount of wiggle room when Congress says ‘here’s $4 billion, please spend it.’” While no one would speak on the record about this controversy for fear of worsening their own RTT prospects, some state officials are grousing about their new competitor: “I mean, I don’t want to seem ungrateful—I’m glad they brought us higher mathematics, philosophy, the torsion catapult, Melina Mercouri, and all that—but really, what has Greece done for us lately?”
“Greece intends to Race to the Top,” by Sam Dillopulous, New Yawk Tizymes, April 1, 2010