Fordham research director Unjust Toro announced this week that his hard-hitting editorials are officially for sale. Toro, sick of writing clever puns and anecdotes and receiving only one paycheck, said, "Listen, no one writes anything for free anymore. Finally I asked myself, 'Where's my bling-bling?'" Toro indicates that it's not just editorials and articles but also his basic principles that are for sale. "Sure, I might support charter schools and vouchers today, but slip me a twenty and I'll trash them tomorrow. Choice movement destroyed, finished. Weaver, McElroy, you hearing me? Act now for a 10 percent discount!" Toro started writing early; his first article appeared in the Toro Family Mower Report and was a scathing attack on his father's inability to remember his wedding anniversary - funded entirely by his mother. "Oh, the anniversary piece? Yeah, he was livid. But that didn't stop him from paying me to attack Mom's recklessness with the credit cards. Listen, folks, do you know what Finn pays his staff? I have three kids to feed!" Toro added that he's also available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and school board meetings.
"Toro ready to sell out," by Timothy Yimer, The Daily Blah, April 1, 2005.