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Flypaper

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis cancels Checker Finn over Advanced Placement book

Carrie Pond
4.1.2023
Midjourney AI program

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Florida Governor and potential 2024 presidential candidate Ron DeSantis announced that longtime education policy expert, and Fordham’s president emeritus, Chester “Checker” E. Finn, Jr. is henceforth banned and barred, and his written work strictly forbidden, in the Sunshine State due to his authorship of a controversial book about Advanced Placement tests.

In a fiery press conference from the state’s capital, DeSantis—who recently waged a public battle against the AP’s planned African American Studies course—took issue with Finn’s 2019 polemical Learning in the Fast Lane: The Past, Present, and Future of Advanced Placement.

“Finn has been pushing his woke ideology of ‘high standards’ and ‘rigorous instruction’ on American students since the Reagan administration,” DeSantis stated. “It’s time someone fought back against this indoctrination.”

DeSantis, flanked by members of activist group Moms Against Checker, detailed a plan by which Finn would be cancelled in the state. “I’ve instructed Florida internet providers to block access to the website of the Thomas B. Fordham Institute. All physical copies of Finn’s books will be destroyed in a massive bonfire on the grounds of the recently liberated Disney World.”

More serious of all, Finn himself will face a life-time ban from entering Florida.

“Stay out of Palm Beach, Checker,” a visibly agitated DeSantis stated. “Same for Boca. Don’t even think about the Keys. No golf, no shuffleboard, no nothing. I don’t care how old you are.”

The action was hailed by right-wing ed reformers. Corey DeAngelis, a senior fellow at the American Federation for Children, briefly looked up from his phone’s Twitter app to proclaim, “Checker had this coming. We should fund students, not ed policy analysts.”

Tags: Advanced Placement Chester E. Finn, Jr. Ron DeSantis
Carrie Pond
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