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Editor’s note: It’s well known that Donald J. Trump has suppressed access not only to his tax returns, but also to his undergraduate grades and SAT scores at Fordham University. We’re pleased to report that, with the help of an assistant to David Pecker of the National Enquirer, the Fordham Institute’s New York correspondent successfully located Trump’s fourth grade teacher. Ms. June met with us at a private club in Palm Beach.

Thank you so much, Ms. June, for agreeing to speak with me today. I hope I haven’t interrupted anything important.

Not at all. I’ve just been enjoying the vibrant gardens and sweeping sea-to-lake vistas here at the club. When people ask you about Donald Trump, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Oh my, well first, he insisted that his teachers and classmates refer to him as Mr. Trump at all times. He would rebuff any attempt by his classmates to call him by any other name. It was never Don, Donald, or Donnie—always Mr. Trump. Other than that, I remember his hands. His hands were immense. I’d never seen a fourth grader with hands that large.

Cutting to the chase, what was Mr. Trump like as a student?

Obviously, I’m prohibited from discussing his actual grades, but Mr. Trump was probably the finest student I had in thirty-one years at Kew-Forest. He doesn’t talk about it in the press, but Mr. Trump actually founded the Model UN Club at Kew-Forest, and he was named “Best Delegate” in his fifth grade year. In his last year at Kew-Forest, his 1,418 hours of community service—all of which was verified by executives at the Trump Foundation—set a record that remains unbroken.

Did Mr. Trump have a lot of friends in school?

Just a few, as best I can recall. You know Queens was becoming a lot more international at that point, and we had some immigrant families who were able to afford to send their children to our school. Mr. Trump seemed to focus on those kids to play and team up with. He had one good pal named Vlad, from somewhere in Russia. One of them had a set of toy soldiers that they played with quite often. There was a big tall Chinese boy he kept trading baseball cards with. And some little round guy, I think he might have been Korean, who exchanged some sort of secret notes with Mr. Trump. I think they had concocted a kind of code that they used with each other. It wasn’t easy for him, though. He frequently told other students that they were “losers.” Even at that young, age Mr. Trump had a knack for sizing people up.

What about outside activities? Did he play any sports?

Oh! No. Mr. Trump wasn’t much of an athlete in those days. It was difficult for him to run, plagued—as he was—by bone spurs. He did enjoy watching sports and participating in other competitions. He was particularly fond of card games and other games of chance. He had little tolerance for losing, though.

Thank you so much, Ms. June. Sorry for taking so much of your time. I’ve enjoyed talking with you today.

Never mind. That’s fine. They keep saying such strange things about Mr. Trump on CNN. Fortunately, they only play Fox News here at the club. It seems to be the only station that knows the Mr. Trump I had in class so many years ago.

By Steff Bebramson